New Sincerity Bullshit Post

Posted on March 8, 2013 by


Photo on 3-7-13 at 7.26 PM #2

I met a group of people online who are now my critique group and one of them is kind of a hipster, even though she distances herself from that. She introduced me to Tao Lin and what’s-her-name and I have to wait a minute to finish this thought because I’m going to go look it up from Skype. Her name’s Marie Calloway.

I read “Adrien Brody” and I had to skim the last part because it was fucking boring. I don’t like Tao Lin’s writing but it sstill makes me feel insecure because my writing is full of frills and sometimes I think of them as affectations, even though they’re not. I just learned to write that way.

I don’t understand the way new sincere writers discuss sex. I guess because they are young and they are beautiful they think of this when they’re fucking. So it’s sincere. But something really sincere would be maybe thoughts about stretch marks and labial folds.

I wrote something like an autobiography, started writing it, but I had to make stuff up because I’m dissociative as a symptom of my disease, which makes this post hard. I’m not making anything up. In the notes of the sort-of autobiography were real, uncomfortable truths, and they feel like picking scabs.

I don’t know if I like new sincerity or not. Sometimes it feels like bullshit, like when I started writing this post and I was making fun of “Adrien Brody”, which is just boring, and unedited which I guess makes it more sincere? See that typo up there I left in? Also, we agreed on Skype that DFW would hate this bullshit, because he can actually write.

If I really got into it I could tell you about my ex-boyfriend whose spit was cold and who kissed like a dead fish. I could tell you about his penis, but I don’t remember it very well, and this post is probably going to make my husband uncomfortable enough without those details. Maybe I could write another absolutely accurate autobiography that includes the weeks when my dying dad had to piss in a bathtub full of water because his cancer had made it impossible for him to piss normally.

Is this too sincere? Should I start doing that? I might go back to frills and delete this post.