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I turned towards the phone and wagged my left hand up and down from the elbow, palm up. I was frustrated. “They sell millions of copies. Who edits these things? What’s the copyeditor doing, picking his nose?” “It doesn’t matter,” said my mum. “The plot sells the book.” “I know. I know.” “You can produce all the flawlessly […]
When I was young, I had a psychotic break. I don’t remember exactly how long it lasted — it was quite a while before things settled to the point where I could reasonably claim that my experiences were within normal psychological limits. To put it plainly, I went utterly insane for a period of several […]
My novel begins, invariably, with an image I’m compelled to describe. I take great care with imagery; I like to look at something much more closely than most writers, so I must be certain the image can be fully grasped in few words — otherwise I’ll make it ridiculous, if not pompous. I’ll spend hours […]
This series takes an unpopular approach to editing fiction. It’s been said by smart, successful people in the industry that the biggest difference between an unpublished author and a published one is a finished manuscript — so amateur authors had best not spend their time worrying about perfecting their first drafts, and just get it […]
— butter — 4 pickled jalapeño slices, pith & seeds removed, quartered — cherry tomatoes, halved (to make about a 1/4 cup) — 2 large eggs — salt — garlic powder 1. Melt the butter in a small frying pan. You should have at least enough to coat the bottom of the pan. To my […]
My cupboards are so often bare. Not “bare” in the actual sense, but “bare” in the modern sense: jars of mysterious Chinese and Tiawanese pastes that say things like “NO GOOD TO EAT RAW”, dried black beans, tricolour orzo, gelatin desserts, beer, jars of tikka masala sauce. Likewise, the fridge has nothing that can be made […]
1. Empty a can of black beans into a saucepan, and add: – 1-2 tbsp dried shallot/onion – big pinch garlic powder – salt, to taste – 2 pinches oregano – big pinch epazote (if you have it) – small pinch cayenne – splash of juice: orange, lime, apple, anything with a little bit of […]
not very alice 
December 15, 2011 by Alice M.
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